Thursday, March 30, 2006

Management Solutions

How well do you tackle problems that obstruct your way ? Observe how one master does it...

Laloo talks to his son

Laloo : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : I want to choose my own bride.
Laloo : But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son : Well, in that case... I can consider the idea..

Next Laloo approaches Bill Gates

Laloo : I have a husband for your daughter.
Bill Gates : But my daughter is too young to marry.
Laloo : But this young man is a Vice President of the World Bank.
Bill Gates : Ah, in that case...I can give it a thought

Finally Laloo goes to see the President of the World Bank

Laloo : I have a young man to be recommended as a Vice President.
President : But I already have more Vice Presidents than I need.
Laloo : But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law.
President : Really ? in that case I will certainly think on it...

This is called Real Management .......

Spare A Thought

Palmistry:

" APNE HAATHO KI LAKEERO KO KYA DEKHTE HO,
NASEEB UNKE BHI HOTE HAI JINKE NASEEB ME HAATH NAHIN HOTE...."

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

AYYE!!!

ASTROLOGY!

Tough days ahead for you Mr. Dravid and Mr. Chappel. Until the one-day series starts, both of you can expect lots of criticism at your workplace. Mental agony is also on the cards. The last two pages of any newspaper in India will be dedicated exclusively to you. Family gettogethers possible. Some of you may take time off work for the next few days. Family and friends will support you.

Naukri.Com Gets Legal Notice!

A 11-year-old has served a legal notice on Naukri.com for poking fun at a name that is same as his own, in one of its ads.
READ MORE

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Weekend!

Last two days, I was at home, mainly watching the third test between India and England. Seeing the match, some weird thoughts ran into my mind..

Why don't we change the batting order of Indian batting, reversing it totally, with Sreesanth and Munaf Patel opening the innings. I think India will score more...

Why not remove some of the non-performers, and put the commentators instead, who knows exactly at what angle the bat should have moved, which direction your feet should be, what degree your head should have tilt for each shot?

Also, I would like to know whether the so-called experts would exactly know whether batting first is better or bowling before even a single ball is bowled. It is pretty easy to say something after one session of the match.

Irfan Pathan played a shot (the shot which he got out). Unfortunately, he was caught and had to leave the field. Every commentator said it was an unnecessary shot, and that Irfan was irresponsible. This to a player who had contributed (may be more than Tendulkar) in every match. I agree, it might have been an immature shot. Now, had that ball cleared the ropes, what would have been the commentator's reaction? Should have been "Wow that's a shot only Irfan can play at this juncture of the innings."

Also I pretty well know how these so-called experts reacted to such situations when they were in the field (Long Long Ago).

EASY TO PREACH EH?

Recognized This One?

Similar to the previous one....




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Nostalgic

This one was a filler which Doordarshan use to air in its initial days. Really, it takes me to my school days.





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Thursday, March 16, 2006

Q&A

**If all one billion Chinese jumped at once, would the earth be thrown out of its orbit?
**What are hiccups and why do we get them?
**Does smoking have any health benefits?
**What was the Leaning Tower of Pisa for?
**Which will keep you drier, running through the rain or walking?


These and a lot of other weird questions with answers HERE

Courtesy: Straightdope

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Heroes -- My Observations....

HINDI:

Stage I:
Acts in any film that comes his way.
If he gets a film with good songs, the film clicks, he is accepted as an actor.

Stage II:
Keeps on repeatedly doing the same genre of films with hairline difference in the story, until he becomes stereotyped, the audience gets fed up and no more accepts him in such roles.

Stage III:
Tries changing tracks, if successful will repeat step II.

Stage IV:
Then he is forgotten, say till the age of about 50-60, when he is remembered again and conferred with "Life Time Achievement Award" by Filmfare.
THE END.



MALAYALAM:

Stage I:
*Acts in films that kind of generates a sympathy for the actor...he suffers a lot, lives for his family, is always ditched by others and generates an "IO PAAVAM" like feeling.
*Continues the same genre of movies till he finds a place in the audience's heart.

Stage II:
He then switches over to Macho-roles, his moustache turns the other way, and does things that are good to fantasize.

Stage III:
Mostly ends up doing elderly characters -- father, grandfather.....



TAMIL:

Stage I:
Almost similar to Malayalam. Acts in a few movies, mainly romantic initially.
Plays similar roles, mostly beaten by 2-3 lean villains, tries to generate the same "IO PAAVAM" like feelings.

Stage II:
Once accepted by the audience, he then switches over to super-hero type roles, wherein he is now capable of beating 10-15 bulk villains may be with just one finger.

Stage III:
Continues doing this...

Stage IV:
Maybe politics..

NOTE:
1. Exceptions are there.
2. Read - all above-mentioned actors are good actors.

The Corporate Structure

Monday, March 06, 2006

And The Oscar Goes To.............




Performance by an actor in a leading role:
Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Capote”

Performance by an actor in a supporting role:
George Clooney in “Syriana”

Performance by an actress in a leading role:
Reese Witherspoon in “Walk the Line”

Performance by an actress in a supporting role:
Rachel Weisz in “The Constant Gardener”

Achievement in directing:
Brokeback Mountain -- Ang Lee

Best motion picture of the year:
Crash


-->FULL LIST

Friday, March 03, 2006

A380 Pics..











Click pics for enlarged view........

Thursday, March 02, 2006

WANTED!!




The photograph above is that of a dreaded terrorist "Abu Pughal Ibrahim Bhai," responsible for notorious activities in and around the town. Any information about him fetches a reward of "Two chicken specially imported from Nandurbar, Maharashtra."

God Please Bless My Computer

Every night I lie in bed
This little prayer inside my head

God bless my mom and dad
and bless my child
and take care of my spouse
who brings me so much joy...

God, there's just one more thing
I wish that you would do
if you don't mind my asking
to bless my computer, too?

Now I know that it's not normal
to bless a small machine
but listen just a second
and I'll try to explain...

You see, that little metal box
holds more than odds and ends
Inside those small components
rest a hundred loving friends.

Some it's true I've never seen
and most I've never met...
never shaken hands or
ever truly hugged, and yet...

I know for sure they love me
by the kindness they give,
and this little scrap of metal
is how I get to where they live.

By faith is how I know them,
Much the same as I know You.
I share in life it brings them,
So if it's OK with you...

Just take an extra minute
from your duties up above...
to bless this little hunk of steel
that's filled with so much love.

So God, Please Bless My Computer...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Mysterious Fever

A mysterious viral fever is doing rounds in Orissa's steel town of Rourkela affecting almost 3000 people. MORE

Kya Bolti Tu??

Hindi:
A Kya Bolti Tu?
A Kya Mai Bolu?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya ?



English :
Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say?
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll dance we"ll
freak, baby, what else?



Sanskrit :
Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi?
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh?
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyami?



Gujarati :
Aye shun bole tu?
Aye hun shun bolu?
Sambhal
Sambhlaav
Aave chey su khandaalaa?
Shun karu aaviine khandaalaa?
Ghumshun, pharshun, naachshun, gaashun, majaa karshun,
beeju shun?



Marathi
Aye kaai tu mhantes?
Aye kaai mi mhanhu?
Aik
Aikav
Yetes kai khandaalaa?
Kai karu yevon mi khandaalaa?
Are ghumuyaa, phiruyaa, gavuyaa, nachuyaa, aish
karuyaa, aankhin kai?



Konkani :
Aye ! kitte sangta tu?
Aye ! aao kite sangu?
Saang
Saangta
Khandalaa yeta ghi?
Khandalaa yevun kithe kharche?
Bhovya, Phireya, Naachya, Gauya, maja korya, anikithe?



Bengali :
Ei ki bolis tui?
Ei ki ar boli?
Shon
Shonaa
Jabi ki khondalaa
K! i kori giye khondalaa
Are, ghurbo, phirbo, nachbo, gaibo, maja korbo ar ki?



Malayalam :
Aye yendhu parayunnu?
Aye njan yendhu parayan?
Keku
Parayu
Varunno khandala?
Yendhu cheyum? Njaan vannu Khandaala?
Karangam, chuttam, paadam, aadam, adichu
polikyam, verendha?