Cricket's Shame!

In a country so obsessed with cricket, where other sports are sort of neglected, where people take leave to watch an important match, where its cricketing board revolves around and only around money, power and hence corruption, once again its fans are upset over a 0-4 whitewash in tests against Australia. Giving just the due respect to the sport, and not over-indulging and wasting time analysing 11 people who get enough money irrespective of what they do in the field, just thought to jot down a few random thoughts.

1. A 0-4 whitewash was expected, but didn't expect the team to be like rats there. It's not the failure but the manner of the failure that irritates a fan. No team can win all their matches. But this time barring a few, none gave a fight at all. In a five day match, usually some session will belong to a team. Here we didn't see even one such session where India dominated. The effort to fight itself wasn't there from the majority, else how you could explain players like Kohli, Saha, Ashwin doing quite OK? As a layman, I didn't feel the Aussie bowling was unplayable. Rather it was shamelessness and spinelessness on the part of the Indians that they never bothered to even put up a fight.

2. Our batsmen have never been good against major foreign teams in their soil. They have never done well in sporty bouncy tracks. This has been happening ever since we started playing cricket. And what has been done so far? Doesn't the rich BCCI have enough money to prepare bouncy pitches in India of the like of Mohali and make players play Ranji trophy etc there and prepare them well? Of course they have. Then why not?

Well we Indian fans are also sort of responsible for the same. For many of us cricket is just about hitting every ball for fours and sixes; very few of us want to really see or believe in building partnerships, rotating strikes with singles etc. Crowd turns out to see big sixes. Bowlers' efforts are seldom appreciated. Other than a Kapil Dev we really don't have any bowler celebrity. And so what better way to please the crowd than to prepare flat pitches? Give the crowd what they want and mint money via APL, BPL, CPL, DPL etc...

After such a horrendous tour, to better the batting tigers' averages, to bring the crowd back, and to forget this kind of humiliation, just call in Bangladesh or Zimbabwe and plan a five match series in India, preparing pitches where ball drops in the leg and moves via the off, making batsman rotate in their crease. And our heroes hit double, triple centuries and once again become paper heroes, having excellent average scores! This eyewash has been going on for years now.

3. It's time that zonal-based selection of selectors need to be taken away. On what basis was Vinay Kumar selected other than Srikanth a southie is the selector? Same goes with Mithun. If Ranji trophy is looked into, why not even one player from Rajasthan, who were in excellent form, taken in the team? Why Irfan was left out? What about Ashok Dinda's performance this season? This is not the usual talk where after one batsmen fail, we normally ask why not the other. This is a genuine case of excellent form vs. poor form.

4. Unlike Australia, we go by big names and not the current form of the batsmen. In-form batsman has to be taken in playing 11 and an out-of-form star has to sit on the bench. Neither the captain nor the team management have guts to take these decisions. Rohit Sharma, in excellent form (by now might have gone) was not even considered for a single match even when stars where cutting a sorry figure. Then why was he and Rahane taken in the first place? 

These points just bring out the rotten system in our cricket and also reminds us that there is no point in pointing fingers at a few players and getting out of the blame. The board should remember that the same fans who bring them money might desert them one day, and BCCI can become a story of riches to rag. It's high time that they start changing things from the very base - selectors, selection criteria, nepotism, preparing sporty wickets in India so on and on. Hope authorities open their eyes at least now, though it is too late.

God Save his Own Country's TV Viewers

Come January, and it's that part of the year where you felicitate the good works of the previous year in the entertainment industry, right from Oscars to our own Filmfare awards. Nowadays, even your neighborhood Krishna Appalam sponsors a film award as Krishna Appalam Film Awards 2012, that channels find it tough to accommodate them in one January with limited Saturdays and Sundays. Well all that's good for the ET industry as more recognitions come their way.

But what am coming to is not the awards per se. And this pertains only to Kerala. Come Saturday/Sunday, it's tough to even walk by the TV without listening to someone screaming and killing your mother tongue. It's a shame we don't have any other presenter in the whole state who can handle two languages, Malayalam and English properly? "Irritating" is the softest word I can use to describe this "neither here nor there" being's presentation. Is somebody listening? God save us!

The POLITrICkS

In the depth of a remote village came a group of entertainers named POLITrICkS. The group consisted of a bunch of magicians, body builders, acrobats and so on. The natives of the villages made its livelihood from back-breaking works equipping themselves in agriculture and related fields. Taking a break off their hard day to get entertained was quite relaxing, improving their morale and the people became very cheerful. Thus in a way, the entertainers were sort of doing a service to the society.

The vanishing acts, acrobats, dramas and power shows quickly gained interest among the villagers and became super hits. The entertaining group was gaining popularity and making good profit. They were consistently increasing the entry fee but people were ready to pay that price without much hesitation. Gradually the entertainment group became wealthy and started investing it in the land and properties of the same village.

The villagers not knowing what was happening at a macro level, gave away their assets either for small blown-up margins, or as a consequence of threats, and became dependants. The dependence ratio kept on increasing due to the ignorance of the people and over time, majority of the villagers were bound to the entertainers literally. Now the POLITrICkS were in control of things. They were the wealthiest as the entire village worked for them. They were the decision makers in the village as they owned most of the assets there. And they manipulated things as they wished, as the entire village was directly or indirectly dependent on them.

The condition prevailed but none dared to voice against it, such was the influence of the entertainers now. Things started to go out of control and people who were in support or part of the POLITrICkS Group did whatever they wished, as there was no code of conduct for them. When things went overboard, some folks started raising their voice against the POLITrICkS and its motive. Initially there were big agitations in unison against the deeds. Slogans were raised and agitations were noticed throughout the village.

Did this change the condition of the village? No way. The group said that they will look into the happenings and do the needful. For namesake, some actions were taken. The idea behind this move was to reduce the boiling point by eating time and once the heat subsides, the agitators could be dealt needfully. The effectiveness of this trick was so much that even people within the protesting group became tired of the frequent agitations and wait for action. The group started loosing strength and at the right time, the POLITrICkS Group tried injecting split into the agitators which to some extent was effective or at least induced doubt in the minds of supporters. Thus the POLITrICkS Group was in control of the proceedings.

Once the heat subsided, the initial face saving acts by POLITrICkS Group were taken back and their members started roaming free. Though the heat was no more intense, the strong agitations made the  POLITrICkS Group cold and numb. Some people who were affected by the wrongdoings were determined to bring things to light. They realized that they should expose the truth without delay, bringing in the land grabbing and related profit making deeds of the group to the epicenter.

The sequence of events started to become a threat for the group. One jolt followed by the next became a little bit challenging to handle. They could foresee their downfall, if things prevailed and continued the same.

What is the solution for this? The solution was the same technique used to make appear a big line small. That is, just draw a bigger line near it. Thus the group decided to ignite a fire that catches wild and grows big enough that all other things goes out of focus. Down the southern end, a commotion between neighboring villages was flamed up and situation in both villages started to become sensitive. People started reacting emotionally and without logic. Of all the tricks played till then, the current trick, playing with the sensitivity of the issue between the two villages became a big success. None were bothered about the wealth misappropriation or the land grabbing. Everyone in the village were keen for each others' blood on misguidance. Time was running away from the villagers as they indulged in unwanted activities rather than working for their prosperity. After a few days of fight and bloodshed, people became tired and realized that their normal life has been hampered considerably and decided to return to their root, but by then all the initial unity and togetherness for the common cause had gone with the wind. POLITrICkS magic worked again.

“We don’t belong to that village who were ignorant, who doesn’t have highly equipped communication system, or who didn’t have even basic education, right??? No one will ever dare to try the same with us because we are the Hi-Fis of the world till date, correct??? When everything happens at the click of a button, how can any POLITrICkS Group play their magic on us, right!!! All the wealth of information is always available at our service, so how can some one misguide us, correct??? When the world has been shrunk more than one can imagine and has become a place where everything can be understood as first hand information, how can someone over smart and fool us, right!!! If we are overconfident about ourselves so much, then it is time to rethink. Let's use the resources and figure out how many times we were made to look nonsensical but still gone unnoticed by us. Just go back and look at what the groups that were supposed to serve the people had really done to us, right from the list of scams to tension between states in the name of disputes from aqua to air. Basically we continue to be those villagers who are exploited in every possible way and the POLITrICkS Group continue to play their trick on us in the form of the vanishing acts, sympathetic dramas, muscle power, groupism and so on. The magic continues and we fail continuously to notice it.….

If the greatest poet of Tamil Nadu, Mahakavi Subramanya Bharathi, was still alive, probably he would have again chanted the lines from his poem Endru thaniyum intha suthanthira thagam? Endru madiyum engal adimayin moham? the meaning of which goes thus…

“When will this thirst for freedom be quenched?

When will the desire of a slave die?

When will this shackles on our hand go away?
When will our sufferings get exhausted?
Oh God, who came to make the country of Bharatha then,
Oh God , who supports the life of a gentleman
Is not the support given by victory, your grace?
Is it proper for these true slaves to fade further?”

Let’s render our basic duties properly or a day will come when we are slaves again, but within our country by our own people. 

Om Asatoma Sadgamaya,
Tamasoma Jyothirgamaya
Mrithyorma Amrutangamaya
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

SATHISH

The World of Maya

When I was a kid, my mom used to read spiritual books and say that the entire world is Maya and all our pain are due to our ignorance about Maya. This statement kept on puzzling me. Maya means illusion, and I always wondered when I can see everything around me, feel everything around, and even touch everything around me, how does the world get categorized as Maya or illusion. Since the declaration on Maya was made by spiritually enlightened personalities, I couldn't rule it out as a junk statement.

At one point I understood that the conflict within me on Maya was my current knowledge and the realization toward understanding the in-depth meaning shared by yogis as the knowledge I should seek. Time passed and events started unwinding, life started teaching lessons on materialism, attachment and greed. Slowly the vagueness about Maya was getting cleared. It is a good learning on how to distinguish things and make life more meaningful and happy from the interview video with Sister Shivani of Brahma Kumaris posted by Ramesh Bai.

The main source of completeness for human being off late is from materialistic things that has a monetary value associated with it or from power or from recognition among the genders or different permutations and combinations of three. Perhaps expecting this shift long back, philosophers had stated that people who find their happiness in the aforementioned things will never be peaceful in their life. Let’s imagine an individual’s life and associate the general mindset at each stages and it consequences.

Till the education, life for an individual is totally at a different plateau. The learning and the grooming during initial phase comes handy for the rest of the life. Hence teachers and parents have a key role in molding the right platform of attitude, character and skill set. Now moving to the mainstream, once into professional line individuals will be keen to get a job that pays them handsomely because it is believed that money will "buy" you everything and also there is always a comparison by people on the scale and the status involved in getting a well paid job. What about Job Satisfaction? For some it is a priority but often money overtakes it.

Now the next stage is getting as much as gadgets, well furnished house and vehicle. These are all needs but the problem arises when materials sought extends beyond need. After this it is settling in life, alliance sought after will be again one who is equal in status and better in monetary background. There will be an elaborate wedding function. Reason? All these establish themselves in the society and they feel happy directly and indirectly.

The consequences of this are: First, there is over dependence on the so-called needs that gets elevated to a different level. Second, all the materialistic things are perishable, means the happiness and completeness is going to perish one day or another by default. Third, there will be a lot of financial obligations associated with all the materials and sweating day in day out for the rest of the life span will not be sufficient to settle them.

Ultimately this will lead way to: First, there is no time for yourself. Two, there is no time for the family. Third, a fear factor of insecurity and breaking down always looms large. Fourth, relationships get bitter. Fifth, health goes for a toss. And finally, life becomes mechanical and there is no more wholehearted living happening.

What is the core reason that life transferred to turmoil which was supposed to be traveling in the path of happiness and completeness? In very simple terms, the reason is the over-attachment with materialistic things that was imagined to have an idealistic long shelf life, which is not the truth. This sort of unrealistic attachment is mere illusion, which is Maya.

Let’s overall view few things that exist in world that we generally are eager to possess and try categorizing them.

Type	Category	Definition
Gadgets	Material	Maya
Properties	Material	Maya
Wealth	Material	Maya
Power	Exhaustible	Maya
True Knowledge	Permanent	Non-Maya
True Intellect	Permanent	Non-Maya
True Love	Permanent	Non-Maya
True Affection & Care	Permanent	Non-Maya

Now depending on what we give priority to, we can experience bliss or pain, the choice is ours. There can be a question that now doesn't love, affection and care fall into the category of Maya since there is high percentage of chance that it gives pain at one point or another. The pain happens when there is a something expected in return, even if it is permanent existence or attachment, but true love, true affection or true care doesn't expect anything in return, it is like being a true devotee.

Now the next question is, will it be possible to live a normal life staying away from the materialistic things. One should understand that there is a lot of difference between seeking basic necessities and obsession, possessiveness and attachment towards the materials. Imagine you are going in a cart. If the cart is comfortable for the people to travel and the bullocks to ride, plus it is safe that will become the need whereas if it is elaborately decorated and fitted with all the latest technology available is senseless. The technology will become a necessity if you are breaking the barriers of safe zone.

So, just because there are a lot of items available in the market, let’s not fall for it but know the limit of the need and allow life to unwind in a peaceful and pleasant format for everlasting happiness. We often see people becoming restless and insecure. This is mainly because the condition that they put themselves into, either by getting tangled due to overspending and directionless to make either ends meet or over attachment thinking everything is permanent. Both conditions will lead to physical and psychological weakness and eventually lead to the unfortunate.

So rather than seeking happiness outside, try finding it inside in what you are, try seeking it in the knowledge that everyone is same as us, and try enjoying leading a life of the highest value of peace, acceptance and content. Content doesn't mean stopping to explore but it means knowing the limits of one's needs. There is a proverb in Tamil which goes like this "Pothumendra Maname Pon Seiyyum Marunthu" which means the moment one understands the upper limit of ones need and can make thy heart accept and follow it, it is the golden medicine one possess for a life of happiness, peace and prosperity. Wishing Everyone a Wonderful & Peaceful Life Ahead. 

SATHISH N

In Search Of Happiness - 1

Really loved this series of talks between Suresh Oberoi and Sister Shivani of Brahma Kumaris. I have always loved the way she explained things. It's worth a watch, and I am sure each one of us will get something worthy and implementable, if not everything... 

New Year in Water?

THANE - a "very severe" category cyclone is expected to hit land on the morning of 30th between Nagapatinam and Chennai bringing in widespread rains in entire South India, especially Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh. Storms touching 125 kmph expected to hit the coastal areas of these areas. Prayers that the cyclone weakens and that there is no loss of life.


Pic Courtesy: IMD

Sibling: The Best Relation One Can Own

Life is full of events - events that make us strong, events that make us weak, events that change our perspective, events that are special, events that change our personality and so on. I thought I would share few events in my life that moulded me or helped me to widen my views and logic.

I would like to start with an incident that happened when I was in my early teens. Till my XI standard I was a strict brother. I was nicknamed "Mahout" by my sister, Sandhya (who is three years younger to me), for my rough attitude and mercilessness towards her. I often misunderstood that elder brothers are supposed to keep a distance from their siblings and should establish their dictatorship. Sounds very illogical and stupid right but that were how I was. I guess since I have never seen good siblings’ relationship but had witnessed more of rivalry, I had nurtured myself with such narrow-mindedness.

My mom often used to say that whenever she leaves me and my sis at home and goes out for shopping, she by default had to consider purchasing Band-Aid for the bruises and scratches that we would have succeeded in contributing to each other. If blood relation has a different meaning as the one who injures other and ensures that blood is coming out of it, then we would perfectly fit that definition.

One day I was having severe headache and the noise around added to my misery, thus resulting in uneven BP. At this point, my mom was away and I had an argument with my sis. This developed in physical assault and we started hurting each other. My physical condition made me more arrogant and aggressive and I hurt my sis a lot more than any one would have ever hurt their sibling. I still regret for my deed that day. Even today I remember her crying with intense pain and anger. I also remember my first experience with BP where the entire vision around me was shrinking and narrowing down into darkness. 

Though I was not that affected by my barbaric reaction immediately, one event that followed it made me bow my head down with shamefulness in front of my own conscious. It was my first experience of mutual respect and acceptance towards sibling by my friend Praveen Antony. Praveen Antony was a very jovial and fun loving person. Generally there will be three slabs in schools, the studious, the backbenchers and the neutral. I belonged to the third category and my sis the first (probably that too should have added fuel to the fire ;-)). Right from my fifth standard when I joined the school, we had the same batch till X. Praveen Antony joined us during IXth or Xth, I don't remember exactly when but he was such a friendly and humorous character that everyone liked him. His nature brought all the three slabs under one roof of friendship, such was his persona and I had great regards for him.

Another friend of mine, Manu, had a library run by his mom. One day, during our XI, we went to borrow books from his library. While few were checking books like Hardy Boys and Agatha Christie, Praveen was looking for the Mills & Boons. We started teasing him and pulling his leg for his eagerness to read romantic books. He very coolly said that he is searching the book for his sister who was just a year younger to him. Hearing this, I don't know how much others were shocked, I was taken back. A brother selecting a romantic book for his sis was out of my zone and indigestible. I was keen and asked him, how can you do this? He as always was very cool and replied that, "After an age, just like how I grew, my sister too would have grown. Just like how I know all the good and bad, she also knows. So it is meaningless to hide the truth but rather apt to accept and respect it." I felt as if someone slapped me on my face.

Praveen's words and maturity started haunting me and I felt how silly I had been all these years. There was an instantaneous change in me and I started accepting my sister as part of my life, not as a sister alone but as my best friend. The whole dimension changed. Growing up I did commit few mistakes after that but never as intense as I had during the yesteryears. Thanks to that event that I realized the value of intelligence over instinct. I also migrated from the illogical world of dictating to the logical and pleasant universe of love, care and affection.

Not everyone will get a person like Praveen Antony to display the value of good sibling relationship. Nor does any sibling relationship need to go through so much of agitation and pain for so many years which deserves to be colored with beautiful events and memories. I guess it would be apt if parents could make their kids understand value of loving each other and erase the mentality of competition. Today, my sis, Sandhya, is the best sis and friend combo that I am blessed with and I always regret missing out on those wonderful years of growing up. Accept your relation as they are and enjoy every moment, life will be a beautiful story unwinding to the tune of happiness, fun, fulfillment and completeness. For people who are committing the same mistake that I did, think again please!!!

SATHISH N

A Special Day in my Life

Recently there was a topic on a talk show about celebrating the dear one's special days. There were points raised like things look too artificial, things seems to be done for the sake of doing, public disturbance and so on. The counterpoint raised by people who supported it said these things are done to make people realise how special they are, make them happy and excited, an expression of care and likewise. On this particular topic I was on the neutral side, as I supported surprises but without much noise and fanfare.

I work in the night shift away from all the heavy traffic jams, tiring travels and reckless rides of the day. On November 29th, I was on my routine and busy with the day's work. By around 11:45 PM or so I started feeling hungry and was pestering my friend Sinoj to go to the canteen. He was busy with some work and was delaying things. With my stomach grumbling, questioning me if I am going to feed it or not, I decided to cool it down with some water. At this point, my Manager, Ranjith, enquired me about a report that I had mailed him a day back. We logged into my system and discussed on the report. Ranjith suggested certain logics and asked to do some analysis based on that.

As I was looking on to the report and checking on the suggestions, our office boy, Shanmugam, told me that someone is waiting for me at the parking lot in a rickshaw with a Big Box that I am only supposed to collect. Surprised and shocked to hear it, I asked him not to kid and check properly as there can't be anyone asking for me at that time of the night. He returned for confirmation, while I continued with my analysis. Few minutes later Shanmugam returned saying that the person is waiting only for me. Doubled minded, I decided to join him and check out what is the matter. When we were about to move out, Shanmugam found that the Big Box was in our meeting room which was already collected by someone. Thinking that Shanmugam was wrongly updated, I decided to go back to my system and start working on the report.

Just few minutes into the report, my Manager called me to my mobile, asking to come to the conference room immediately. When I reached there I found that all the managers and supervisors were there with a box of sweets and a cake with good wishes on it. There was also a big box unopened, which Shanmugam had mentioned earlier. Everyone shook hands and wished me. Yes, it is 12 O' Clock and November 30th. So what is special about November 30th??? Years back, it was on that date I inhaled my first breath on mother earth. My friend Sinoj wished me with a tricky smile, which clearly revealed that he intentionally delayed from going out to have food.

Away from the normal practise, I was asked to light up a Nilavilakku (traditional lamp) which I liked so much; I guess it is Ranjith's suggestion. Even though it was a simple thing or a different format of lighting, I felt something special lighting it and seeing it glowing bright. After cuttting the cake that our team brought and celebrating, people started pulling my legs on the Big Box that was on the table. They confirmed that the Big Box was a gift for me from some unknown. When we opened it up, it was a very big cake, enough to be shared with all our departments. The cake was very cute with wordings "Happy Birthday Dear Sathish" on the upper half and the bottom half was fully decorated with Rose Flowers of different colors. It was looking so lovely and beautiful.

The only update that we got from the person who delivered the cake was, 'It is a Surprise for Sathish from CMS (my school) friends'. I was puzzled who on earth after so many years remembered my birthday and planned so much to give me a surprise. Mahesh is one person who is from CMS but since he knows that I don't like to be in the limelight, he will not push me into it. Everyone asked who is that special person and so on but I was in shock, surprise and happiness that someone had valued me so much. I was in cloud nine and could feel the stars around. My mind was totally blank and couldn't think too much. I just kept on staring at the cake mesmerized at the way my name was cherished over it and the decorations. Though, back of my mind, something started hinting me that this should be the handwork of my childhood friend, Ramya, but details like CMS friends and delivery at a place 100 kilometers away from where she is located at sharp 12 forced me to doubt my instinct. There were some messages from her wishing on my brithday and missed calls but since I was in the festive atmosphere, I couldn't read them or attend the call immediately. I tried reaching her after the celebration, but she didn't pick up, maybe she dozed off.

Ranjith suggested that we will celebrate it with our entire team. The team joined us and each and everyone wished me. We shared the gift with everyone in the office. Even after giving it to the entire office, we had enough to parcel for our office boy and security's family. I too took few to home to share it with mom and dad. I believe it was the first time in my life that so many people wished me on my Birthday. Also me cutting the cake had never been part of my personal agenda during birthday's, but now I had one shared with my entire second family (my team). Sinoj was very particular that I should find the person when I report to office the next day as people were pointing him. I was suggested to even call Mahesh at that time to get things cleared but being in the middle of the night, we controlled our eagerness.

By morning, the suspense was broken, it was the handwork of Ramya and Mahesh. They know each other well but never expected to bring out such teamwork. Ramya was the biggest support during my days of turmoil and helped me stand strong and recover fast. She wanted to celebrate this birthday as if it is my first. She had already presented me with some gifts which itself was a surprise but it seems she felt that it didn't give enough punch that she had wished for. She had called up Mahesh and they planned on this surprise cake gift. While I was pulling Sinoj to join to the canteen, she was guiding the person to deliver it on time. Being a long day, after ensuring that the gift had reached its destiny, she dozed off and that's the reason she didn't attend when I called her back.

It has been quite some days since this has happened, but I am still in the clouds. Feeling that you are special is something that one should experience by themselves. Few people believe that there is no need to express themselves, since affections needs to be felt, else it will be like marketing. I too belonged to the same category all these years but after this incident I have a totally different perspective. The amount of happiness, completeness, self confidence, and self respect that expressing oneself injects in the dear ones is boundless. Though we may have everyone, during tough days loneliness creeps in by itself but such expressions move life to a different plateau that the concept of loneliness will be always at bay. When I see some lovely friends and families, I always wonder how wonderful their special days would be but gets disappointed when they state it was same as any other (maybe all the day is a celebration for them and I have not grown to that level to understand it :-)).

More than the day, I believe it is an opportunity to express yourself to your dear one in a royal way how special they mean to you. I felt special and my heart is filled with happiness and wholeness for I have beautiful souls and hearts with me. No wonder the talk show had so many people supporting it and now I too fall into that list. Life is big, live it king sized. We run around the never satisfied materialistic things like money, property, luxury, power and other materials and do anything and everything to attain it even by forgetting to enjoy the basic reason of our existance, life and relation. I wish all the lovely people celebrate their relationship and enjoy it to the most instead of loosing life to miniscule things. I also wish everyone be blessed with dear ones with beautiful souls as I am blessed with, including the ones who call up on Dec. 6 and say it is your birthday today dude, not on Nov. 30, and let's celebrate it now :-)

SATHISH N

God is Everywhere - A Real Life Experience.

Life has gone through a rollercoaster ride over the past one year. After lot of heavyhearted days, now things are peaceful. Looking back, it is the First Anniversary of God proving his presence in my life.

A year back, life was at its worst. Unending problems and miseries were creating trauma. We were keen to see the light at the end of the tunnel. All efforts and means to make things straight were in vain. I was slowly losing my faith of recovery. The only thing that was keeping me running was the blind faith and support by a beautiful soul.

Things were taken to a level that once I questioned God about his existence, out of frustration. But he was the only person who could help too. To help myself settle mentally I thought of going on a pilgrimage to Sabarimala, which I normally do, but this time with much more traditional fervor. As per norms to go to that temple one should be following certain rituals for 41 days, which very few follow nowadays. This time I wanted to follow it as much as I could but that too didn’t last long since the problems were piling up like heap of sand and I was getting buried beneath. But deep within I was ensuring that the soul and thoughts are not hampered.

The trip was planned for 19th November 2010. The return would be on 21st November 2010. In between few other temples would also be visited. The cab had 13 members, of which six of them were from our group. We were perfectly paired. Sabari and his cousin Sathish; Mahesh and his college friend Adhavan; and myself and my colleague Siva Kumar made the 6 members of our group.

Though the start was early and we had enough time to visit the temples, people were keen to cut short the journey and skipping the temples. It was me who booked for the journey and there were comments like they thought it was just one-day direct journey. The ironical part of it was that though there were statements like the tradition is lost and none are following things religiously and so on, people were reluctant to do what was expected to be done during such trips.

After reaching Sabarimala we took dip in the Pamba river and started on foot to the temple which is inside the forest about five kilometers from the river. There were only two options; one is by foot and other using dolly. At the foothill, one dolly guy was around Siva Kumar stating it will be very tough for him to make it to the temple on foot so better use dolly. Siva Kumar was hefty but young and was unimpressed with the dolly guys approach. I could see it was mere business strategy of that person and was unhappy in the way they were making their moves. I was also upset that such things are happening even in temples like Sabarimala. Another reason for not opting for dolly was it costs 2200 Rupees.

Siva opted to go by walk. And as any over smart person, without getting to know the truth, I suggested Siva that we will make it together and I got his side back and carried it. On the way he had said that he had complaints of throat pain for past couple of days. The pain popped up again once we started uphill. After about 15 minutes of walk he found it difficult to proceed further as the pain was increasing. At one point, he said he will give up and go back but decided against it since it will have negative impact on the beliefs and his family. Though I tried to energize him with some glucose water, he was not fit enough to walk all the way. And he had to opt for dolly, but decided only one way.

We planned that I will move fast and wait for him at the place where the dolly would drop him. The walk was on for around two hours. The wet terrain due to the heavy rain during the previous days made it a bit challenging. As per plan I was there to reach first and waited for Siva. After around 15 to 20 minutes of waiting he too arrived at the location. We moved ahead and finished with the Dharsan. Immediately after finishing the Dharsan, it started to rain heavily. So we took rest under a shed and waited for the other 11 members to arrive. The rain was at its best and lasted for hours continuously. Siva and myself chatted on general stuffs and he was feeling sleepy too. Then we heard an announcement asking for us by our team members. We followed their instruction and made it to the lodging.

After the night’s rest, we finished with the formalities and started with our way back downhill. Siva took some money from the ATM available there at the Sannidhanam. He was feeling fresh and so opted not to have the dolly. He was much more energetic and active than the rest of us and made it soon to the river down, closely followed by myself, Sabari and his cousin Sathish. We found our vehicle at the parking. After a brief wait for the rest of the group, we started with our journey back to home. We wished each other on having another successful year of making to the temple.

I was tired, as the rest of the group, and was slowly starting to dose off when suddenly Siva woke me up complaining of severe throat pain again. He said both of us would stay back and visit a hospital and let others continue with their journey. I didn’t know why he was saying so for a throat pain as my understanding limited to think of it for acidity. I told about it to my friend Mahesh alias Mahe. He immediately asked the driver to take the vehicle to the nearest hospital. Luckily for us there was ASSISSI Hospital on the way itself just 5 minutes from where Mahe had instructed the driver.

We entered the hospital in a state of emergency as Siva was finding it difficult to sustain with the throat pain. Being Sunday and a hospital in a remote place it was not highly equipped but served the need of the hour. The doctor was a young chap and he told us they would take the ECG. What followed that sent shiver down my spine. The doctor said that Siva had undergone a major heart attack and needs immediate medical attention. I was sweating. I didn’t know what to do. Siva’s family and kids were staring at me in my mind. I was shivering too since this is the first time I am encountering such a situation and I had to make a difference. Being alone at such a critical situation made me worried and weak. I was sweating and feeling giddy. Mahe was with me at that time and I asked him to be with me. His assurance that he will be with me and will take care of things together made me feel better or in fact confident for we’re good friends from school.

Since their hospital was not equipped to serve the situation at the higher level, the doctor quoted Mary Queens Hospital, Kangirapally, which was 17 kilometers away from our current location. Since their main ambulance had gone for some other’s service, they got us their stand-in ambulance, which though was not that well equipped, was well directed by its driver to help us reach Mary Queens Hospital within 20 minutes or so. That was my first journey in an ambulance.

Mahe was with me in the ambulance. We told the rest of the members that we would decide on our further plans once we meet the doctor at Mary Queens Hospital. Siva was given with some basic medicines to help his heart function. In the ambulance, he was supported with oxygen supply. I was holding his hands and every time would look at him to see he is fine. He was mainly staring outside through the window and was relieved to see him normal. At one point I wished that the doctor was wrong and everything is fine with him.

After reaching Mary Queens Hospital, Siva was taken to the ICU. He was given some medicines and was kept under observation. The senior doctor came for check up. I was eagerly expecting a different explanation from him but he too made the same statement. In fact, he added fuel to the fire stating that an emergency surgery is a must and should be taken to Kottayam at the earliest. He said if we had brought him within 6 hours of attack, medicine would have helped but since it seems to be 24 hours since attack, giving medicine will only complicate things. He told Angioplasty is the need of the hour. They suggested taking a special ambulance that had equipments to help any worse case scenario. The doctor suggested two hospitals and we opted for Bharath Hospital. When asked if Siva could be taken to Coimbatore for further treatment, the doctor said it would be like tying a time bomb around the waist and traveling, so don’t even think of it.

Once this was confirmed, we asked the rest of the group to make their move and continue with their journey. We had two main challenges at this time. One, we had to communicate the condition to Siva’s family and ask them to make to Bharath Hospital. Usually I don’t take mobile phone when I am on pilgrimage but luckily Mahe had his post paid mobile connection with him and I asked him to pass the message. He called Siva’s home and said that Siva is having chest pain and we had to take him to hospital, so please try to make it to Kottayam, Bharath Hospital, as soon as possible. I just can’t imagine what would have been their mental state hearing this news. Their cousin who had a car was at his home during that time so they started to Kottayam immediately but it was not going to be easy as it was nearly 8 hours of journey from Coimbatore to Kottayam.

We informed the ambulance service about our requirement and were waiting for them. And here comes our second problem. In total we had only 4000 bucks with us with the bill of the current hospital yet to be paid. Along with that we had Siva’s ATM card that had some 9000 in it. While we were discussing on it, we got a call from the ambulance service stating that the initial 10 kilometers will be charged 2000 Rupees and from thereon 50 Rupees per kilometer. Kottayam was around 50 Kilometer from our current location, which means we should have 4000 bucks for the ambulance alone. And with the remaining very few bucks we should get the surgery done.

After a wait of around 40 to 45 minutes the ambulance arrived. We made our payment at Mary Queens Hospital and started to Kottayam, Bharath Hospital. Being a Sunday was an advantage for us at this point. The traffic was limited but the rain made it a bit tough. Only one person was allowed to sit near the patient. There were two male nurses for help in case of emergency. The ECG machine was running throughout. And every now and then I would look at it. Though I knew nothing about it I was looking at the consistency of the pattern. There was a reading as 120 on the display and every time I would look at it. Siva was fast asleep and I was quick to disturb the nurses to know if it was normal.

After about an hour’s travel we reached Bharath Hospital. Siva was asleep till then but woke up at the last minute, thanks to the last patch of bad road. Here again Siva was immediately taken to the ICU as soon as seeing the letter and prescription handed over by the Mary Queens Hospital. Mahe took care of the initial hospital formalities and I went out in the Ambulance itself to take money from the ATM. Thanks to the ambulance driver and the staffs that they had the heart to drop me back as I was unfamiliar with that place.

After making the payment for the ambulance, I rushed to see where they were. The security personnel guided me to the location. Mahe and myself were met by the doctor and some executive and were explained on the situation. Siva had undergone a major heart attack and there was a block that is stopping the supply for blood to a particular part of the heart. The option left was to do Angiography and find the block and give medicine to open up the block or do Angioplasty and open up the block with stent. There were risks involved with giving medicine as Siva was just 37 and there can be issues of bleeding and also Angioplasty will be needed, if not now but later. They asked us to make the decision.

By then Siva’s family was on the way. In between Siva’s wife had called me and asked to say openly if he had an attack. I didn’t conceal the truth then but didn’t reveal the intensity. That piece of early information helped to get things straight soon and they asked us to go ahead with Angioplasty itself. But now another issue was two different states and no relatives were around to take the responsibility of risk. The hospital was a little worried on those lines. We made the doctor speak to Siva’s wife and since they too were convinced they decided to go ahead with the surgery and they conducted the surgery without even asking a single penny from us. We were in the traditional pilgrimage attire throughout, so were easily noted and people were eager to help us irrespective to religion or place, as they should have been aware that we are there because of emergency. Siva was taken into the operation theater by 7:00 and at around 7:30 the doctor called us and explained the condition and what was done.

Siva had a 100% block in one of the blood vessel in the heart. That was both because of clot as well as fat around the vessel. There were other minor blocks because of clots but it was removed with medicine. This particular block, which was 100% had to be opened by inserting a stent. We were relieved when the doctor said Siva was perfectly okay but needs to be under medical supervision for 48 hours as his blood had a nature that can get clotted. Immediately after getting the news that he is fine, we called his family and passed the message, we didn’t want them to be tensed any longer and wished them to at least be peaceful that Siva is out of danger.

The main positives here were, Siva was brave and never hit the panic button. Secondly, their family members were understanding and didn’t create any confusion. Thirdly, the doctors, nurses, and security were very humble and supportive that we felt saving Siva was their primarily target. Fourth, our friendship (myself and Mahe) and understanding helped to face the situation with courage. And I could see Gods in all those people who helped in getting Siva fine, right from the doctors who treated him to the nurses who supported with the needful, to the ambulance drivers and staffs who helped in reaching destinations safe and timely, to the drivers on the road who responded immediately to the ambulance siren and gave way. At no point throughout this time period we even imagined about any other consequence other than Siva getting fine and I felt it was a strong message from God, to me in particular, not to doubt his existence as he showed it in the different forms.

As we look back, again and again, even the slightest delays or hastening had an implication; else the timing of treatment that followed would not have been a possibility. We would have either been stranded in no man’s land at Sabarimala facing a critical situation or on the travel in search of hospitals. Though it may sound stupid, was the statement by the dolly guy a warning by God for what had awaited us? Only God knows!!! As Steve Jobs mentioned in his Stanford Commencement Speech 2005, you see a clear picture when you join the dots in the reverse, so did I.

It has been one year since we witnessed that fearful day. Siva is healthy and energetic. I wish God to be with him and his family throughout as he had been during that day showing the right way and bringing goodness to that wonderful person and his beautiful family. I also wish God to create more friends like Mahe on this earth and also bless him with peace and prosperity. And finally, I thank God for making me realize him better, deeper and understand him more closely. God is everywhere and if we look closely there is God Everywhere, not by the count that we get from the different religions but by the countless humans where he lives within.

SATHISH N

Religare With Yourself

Recently a friend of mine had few promotions happening in her office. Being a person who is very dedicated and knows the value of her contribution to her family, the natural instinct made her a bit upset for not being part of that group. It is quite normal that during such situations you will become gloomy and will allow the devil's advocate rule your mind. I felt the prolonged soberness on her vibrant nature was not going to help her in anyway.

Since I had undergone similar situations many times, which only helped me to mould myself and be what I am, but for the ample support from my good friends like Premjith, Ambrose and Ramesh Bai, something told me that she too needs the same support. I tried to recall things (googled too) that could help her get the bigger picture, but in vain. Then I thought it is apt to share an imaginative scenario that I communicated with my friends who feel they are slowed down and are in difficulties due to some obstacles.

The situation goes thus: Imagine yourself blindfolded and led to a vehicle. You are handed over the task of taking control of the wheels. It is a very, very dark night that even after removing the blindfold, it made no difference. Somehow you managed to get the ignition on and turn on the headlights. All that you can see is the headlight’s energy glaring on the road ahead. You can't even guess what vehicle you are in or what all features it composes.

At this moment of doubt and puzzle, you are handed over with the responsibility of reaching a particular destination within a stipulated time. One relief is that on the way you will see the direction boards that will guide you. Worried you start the vehicle and put your foot on the accelerator. Within minutes of your start, you notice that a person cycling right in front of you at the speed of a snail. You try to alert him but he is least bother about it.

Anyone who is in this situation has two options:

Option One:

With great difficulty, you slow down the vehicle and start driving at his speed. You didn't dare to get out of the vehicle for the fear of being in an unfamiliar area. Straining yourself and the vehicle and wasting extra fuel, you kept on travelling behind him. You were so irritated that you didn't realize to look beyond the person ahead of you. The travel was getting tiresome and the engine too was being damaged.

The early morning sun rays bring light in your zone. Now you realize that the road was really big enough and the car that you were using was the make of BMW's best-in-class that you could have easily overtaken the person and clocked miles. You realize the target ahead of you and the insufficient time but to your relief you have a wonderful vehicle that just glide over the road. It responds to your call and makes the destination on time.

Option Two:

Rather than slowing down, challenge the cyclist at the first instance. Along with averting him from blocking your path, you will get a mild feel of your vehicle's capacity. Now you would be travelling at a better pace with ample time to cover the distance. This makes the travel less stressful and you can enjoy the journey and the landscape.

Now what is the big deal with this scenario? Equating certain items in the scenario to some other things will get a better picture. The journey can be considered as your journey of life or even the journey towards success in a particular field. The vehicle is nothing but you yourself. The darkness is the ignorance of our capacity. The cyclist is the slow dragger that injects doubts, which can be our own imaginations or from other sources, that blocks our progress. The direction boards are the timely support that you get for being what you are in your journey. Some direction boards maybe en route and few accompany you always like a compass.

In the first instance, falling into the trap of the obstacles didn't help in any way. Though we felt it is easy to be accepting it, it made the journey really painful, both physically and mentally. We often believe saying excuses is the easiest way to escape the reality but only time will teach we were fooling ourselves by doing so. By engaging ourselves with that mindset, we not only are going to exhaust the fuel of time, health and also discolor the passion of life, which will make things more and more tough in the later stage.

Whereas in the second instance, when you rightly realized your obstacles and challenged it, you got a hint of your capacity. The initial journey in darkness also allowed you to experiment yourself with your skills and tune your talents. This was more of an incubation period of sculpting yourself by realizing your metal. So, once you hit the limelight, without your own knowledge you have grown in stature.

So I suggest everyone to explore yourself and understand your passion and talent. Self realization is the key to unlock anything and everything in life. By doing it honestly you will be the best fit for any situation and circumstances. All the materialistic things that people long for will be longing to be pampered by you. I wish my friend to realize herself at the earliest and start enjoying her journey of life and success.

"Your Soul Has A Vast Reach, Vaster Than One Can Imagine; Scale Those Heights and Make life Large."

SATHISH N