Life is full of events - events that make us strong, events that make us weak, events that change our perspective, events that are special, events that change our personality and so on. I thought I would share few events in my life that moulded me or helped me to widen my views and logic.
I would like to start with an incident that happened when I was in my early teens. Till my XI standard I was a strict brother. I was nicknamed "Mahout" by my sister, Sandhya (who is three years younger to me), for my rough attitude and mercilessness towards her. I often misunderstood that elder brothers are supposed to keep a distance from their siblings and should establish their dictatorship. Sounds very illogical and stupid right but that were how I was. I guess since I have never seen good siblings’ relationship but had witnessed more of rivalry, I had nurtured myself with such narrow-mindedness.
My mom often used to say that whenever she leaves me and my sis at home and goes out for shopping, she by default had to consider purchasing Band-Aid for the bruises and scratches that we would have succeeded in contributing to each other. If blood relation has a different meaning as the one who injures other and ensures that blood is coming out of it, then we would perfectly fit that definition.
One day I was having severe headache and the noise around added to my misery, thus resulting in uneven BP. At this point, my mom was away and I had an argument with my sis. This developed in physical assault and we started hurting each other. My physical condition made me more arrogant and aggressive and I hurt my sis a lot more than any one would have ever hurt their sibling. I still regret for my deed that day. Even today I remember her crying with intense pain and anger. I also remember my first experience with BP where the entire vision around me was shrinking and narrowing down into darkness.
Though I was not that affected by my barbaric reaction immediately, one event that followed it made me bow my head down with shamefulness in front of my own conscious. It was my first experience of mutual respect and acceptance towards sibling by my friend Praveen Antony. Praveen Antony was a very jovial and fun loving person. Generally there will be three slabs in schools, the studious, the backbenchers and the neutral. I belonged to the third category and my sis the first (probably that too should have added fuel to the fire ;-)). Right from my fifth standard when I joined the school, we had the same batch till X. Praveen Antony joined us during IXth or Xth, I don't remember exactly when but he was such a friendly and humorous character that everyone liked him. His nature brought all the three slabs under one roof of friendship, such was his persona and I had great regards for him.
Another friend of mine, Manu, had a library run by his mom. One day, during our XI, we went to borrow books from his library. While few were checking books like Hardy Boys and Agatha Christie, Praveen was looking for the Mills & Boons. We started teasing him and pulling his leg for his eagerness to read romantic books. He very coolly said that he is searching the book for his sister who was just a year younger to him. Hearing this, I don't know how much others were shocked, I was taken back. A brother selecting a romantic book for his sis was out of my zone and indigestible. I was keen and asked him, how can you do this? He as always was very cool and replied that, "After an age, just like how I grew, my sister too would have grown. Just like how I know all the good and bad, she also knows. So it is meaningless to hide the truth but rather apt to accept and respect it." I felt as if someone slapped me on my face.
Praveen's words and maturity started haunting me and I felt how silly I had been all these years. There was an instantaneous change in me and I started accepting my sister as part of my life, not as a sister alone but as my best friend. The whole dimension changed. Growing up I did commit few mistakes after that but never as intense as I had during the yesteryears. Thanks to that event that I realized the value of intelligence over instinct. I also migrated from the illogical world of dictating to the logical and pleasant universe of love, care and affection.
Not everyone will get a person like Praveen Antony to display the value of good sibling relationship. Nor does any sibling relationship need to go through so much of agitation and pain for so many years which deserves to be colored with beautiful events and memories. I guess it would be apt if parents could make their kids understand value of loving each other and erase the mentality of competition. Today, my sis, Sandhya, is the best sis and friend combo that I am blessed with and I always regret missing out on those wonderful years of growing up. Accept your relation as they are and enjoy every moment, life will be a beautiful story unwinding to the tune of happiness, fun, fulfillment and completeness. For people who are committing the same mistake that I did, think again please!!!
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